Growth - Part One

I've always loved the city life. It makes me wonder how humanity has come this far and I shouldn't stop to be part of the cog of development in the nation's system.

During the typing of this blog post, I'm at Suria KLCC's Starbucks, to pass time. (The blog post would be long and I really do hope that you could learn from my experience.)

I participated in the FairMUN, an abbreviation for Fairview Model United Nation. It was quite an experience and I would encourage those who'd really like to meet new friends of different backgrounds, participating in the Model United Nation would be a very very good choice.

The moment I stepped into Fairview and began meeting people, I felt so left-out because:

Firstly, I'm the only Penangite there,
Second, I just realized how arrogant I was back in TARUC,
Thirdly, Social Status (international school students, how poor can they be?),
Fourth, Age (most of them were just around 14-16 years old and they sounded so mature),
Fifth, Language (Their accents, tone, pitch, content, all are very mesmerizing)
Sixth, Culture
Seventh, Education System

I felt left-out and awkward at the same time and didn't really make any impressions on the first day. What's best for the day and for my life so far was that we (Jonathan Lee and I) went out for dinner at a mamak about 500 meters from Fairview's entrance. Before that, because I felt so awkward and uncomfortable with the kids around there and I wanted to leave as early as possible, back to my hotel, watch TV, hot drink and so on. I booked a taxi (Grabcar) and the taxi driver had me waited for about 20 minutes before I cancelled the booking. I believe that some things are just meant to be.

So, after that, Jonathan invited me for dinner and we started talking about out pasts and I couldn't stop complimenting him for his change. He looked stupid and short in high school (I'm sorry, Jonathan) and now although still short, he isn't that fluffy anymore. We were there for like an hour. Of course, I'm a fan of learning and I couldn't resist the temptation of mine to learn from him. I asked him a few questions and he answered all of them calmly. I was finally being able to feel less awkward after the conversation with Jonathan. I love the sheep's metaphor he used and I think he's way more mature than me from what he said.

He said,

If I were in your situation, you knew that people from your school were sheep. They would only follow instructions which were given to them. However, if you were to be the shepherd to guide the sheep, it will do no harm to you nor the sheep. They need a leader and this is the time you'll need to rise.

I added the last sentence myself.

And I kinda like 'woke up' from my fantasy of realising how successful I'm gonna be with or without my friends' support and encouragement. I got the wrong idea since the day I knew about stuffs. I was arrogant and ignorant. However, I was fortunate enough to participate in FairMUN. It changed me, from a horrible, ignorant homosapien to a more mature, understanding, considerate human.

What I learnt from Jonathan:
Mindset is very important and the cultural environment of an institution as well. Education is the same throughout the world. You wouldn't say that a toe is a toe in the UK and when it comes to Malaysia, a toe is suddenly a mouth. It's the environment which creates people with different personalities. It's the culture of an education institution that makes its students worth more than just a piece of paper. People would say TARUC's graduates are good and would be very employable, but is that true?

Let me get the facts straight here. I don't know whether people notice about this or not, but I've been living in agony and my mental growth has stopped since the day I got enrolled. Well, in the mean time, I'm still satisfied with my academic result, but I'm not pursuing what I really want. And that makes me very empty inside. Students in TARUC (as of what I could say, aren't really being serious about learning.) Some of my tutors and lecturers said that the aforementioned situation is also very common in other universities. It might be. But the level of being not-so-serious about mental growth is much lower than it is in TARUC. I've seen many students cheat and the invigilators would just turn a blind eye towards the issue because that's none of their business. Students cheat, graduate and ta-da, they know nothing.

I've met people who'd say they've a lot of friends and so on, but I never heard any of them saying "He's better than me and one day I'm gonna surpass him", NO ONE EVER SAID THAT. They tend to stick with the people who'd make them comfortable and instead of growing (mentally), they just stopped growing. I participated in FairMUN because:

1. I wanted to leave Penang alone and see how independent I could be.
2. I wanted to make more friends and HELL YEAH, I made some.
3. I wanted to gain more exposure.
4. I wanted to improve my English-speaking skills.
5. I wanted to leave my comfort zone.

The first time to take the LRT alone and no one's there to help me. I know that I gotta be strong and tough and independent in order to overcome all the obstacles I will be facing. It was a hell of an adventure. And I think I should stop blaming others and myself.

Besides learning from Jonathan that having a right mindset is important, he also taught me that planning what you want is as important as sleep. He started planning for the path he desired when he was 16 and I didn't really take any actions since the day I graduated from Chung Ling High School. He searched for scholarships, he worked very hard on his studies, he participated in many events which led him to this day, as the Secretary General of FairMUN. He went to the US for six months last year under a scholarship and enrolled into Fairview, full scholar as well and since then he changed a lot (physically and mentally). I admire him not because of how he is now, but how he fought his way to the goals he desires.

He also told me that being a mentally-positive person helps him a lot to being a changed man, a better version of him. I was being too pessimistic for the past few months and I know I shouldn't be. It drained the enthusiasm out of me and since then I have done nothing productive until now.

Random picture: It has been 2 days since I've not been caffeinated. Today will be a good day and so will the rest.

I'm that typical Chinese kid who'd always follow what my parents wanted. However, after the event, I started to feel like if I couldn't get any control in my life, then I might as well be doomed. My parents are strict and they always deny the words that come out from my mouth. I guess that's how Chinese parenting works. I resent it. So, in order to keep myself from swaying away from the path I wanted, Jonathan suggested me to get a diary and write down the plans for what I want to do tomorrow. Every day until the day I see myself become a better version of the current me.

Thank you Jonathan, I really do appreciate what you've done.


Sad Song by We The Kings (feat Elena Coats)