I was on 9gag on the other day and saw a post saying that whenever this guy is having a conversation in his head (which irritates him a lot), he would start to converse with himself out loud. I'm one of those guys too. Whenever I'm having a monologue, I kinda wanna punch myself in the face. I guess intelligent people think too much and thus the main cause of depression. I'm trashed for the present moment. It's like you aren't yourself anymore and you couldn't grab hold of any of the aspects in your life.
I'm frustrated, sad, depressed, moody and so on. I don't really voice out the problems I'm facing with others because that'd just make me look like a jerk, a coward, a helpless piece of shit. I'm a guy, looked tough but am being controlled by a soft-mushy thing inside. Sentimental? Maybe it's the word I'm looking for.
I've flunked my papers because, I don't know, lack of focus? People would try to compare their marks with me and so be it. What I'm feeling right now is that the whole world of mine is going down. Why? I asked myself for a gazillion times and there are still no answers to my questions. I'm writing this post in order to get this fucked-up mood off my chest. FUCK!
I've tried a lot of things to ease my MOOD, nothing works. But one thing I managed to get is that OVERTHINKING really do hurt you, mentally. You're being tortured by your own mind. The 'fight or flight' mechanism is turned on but you can't run away from your mind. I've got no one to talk to, no trustworthy ones.
I'm gonna go by now, by go, I mean shower.
Goodbye for a while.
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